Happy Birthday, Trevor
It's awfully nice to be your mom.
We love you!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Home Again!
48 hours in transit and we are still a little drowsy two nights after arrival. The pain of Africa is still immediate and raw but we are surrounded by the coziness of home at Mom and Dad's. I am overwhelmed in a different way tonight. I am overwhelmed by the pleasure of being near my children. Trevor is playing old Bob Dylan songs on his pretty Martin with the shoe string for a strap. His voice is soothing. Jesse is accompanying him on his tongue drum tuned to G. His funky playing makes me smile. Life tastes sweet and I am sleepy. Goodnight!
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Overwhelmed
This afternoon Tammy and I went to visit a small home here in Arusha for children with AIDS. I guess it's not just for kids, though it is primarily for little ones. There are 14 children in residence and three women.
Saida, the first nurse we met, had little Connie in her arms. Connie arrived at the home in August. She was eight months old and both her parents had already passed away, victims of AIDS. She smiled in Saida's arms and giggled at me when I tried to engage her. She was a tiny baby without hope when she arrived. Now she is grinning and walking.
The goal at the home is to provide good nutrition along with the proper administration of the right drugs. With nutrition, meds, vitamins, good hygiene and lots of love and prayers, there are some great success stories out of that place. One of the women Tammy prayed with last time has now improved to the point of going home.
The children we just waking up from their afternoon naps as we visited their rooms. I felt a little emotional as I greeted them, but was not losing it.
The last room housed the three women. Tammy stood there calm and collected in her gentle, dignity-giving way. I, however, was beginning to cave.
The room had that hospital smell that can sometimes make you feel not so good and it was also fairly warm in there. But that wasn't it. Three factors were working on me hard.
This was my first encounter with AIDS. I've read about AIDS forever. I've been aware of the statistics in Africa and I was in Africa when AIDS was first becoming a word we knew. In 1990 we were caring for a baby whose mother had passed away just after giving birth. I was breast feeding the baby because I was already breastfeeding Trevor. But after a few days it dawned on me that maybe I shouldn't do this because this disease AIDS, which had not been seen yet in our area, was beginning to alarm people in the cities.
But all these years later, after all the early years of trying to teach people what it was, and then being gone when it really began to ravage the Maasai in our area, this today was now my first time to be meeting women I knew for certain were in advanced stages of AIDS.
I have to admit, it brought an unexpected fear up in me.
The second factor playing against me was the strong urine smell coming from Julianna's bed. It was hard to handle in the warm air that already carried that hospital smell.
But it was Julianna's story that was wiping me out. Julianna is epileptic and she is physically limited and cannot speak. For her to have contracted AIDS means that someone violated a handicapped girl who could do nothing about it. Who could do that?
The room was starting to spin.
I haven't fainted about anything in 20 years but I knew what was coming.
"Tammy," I said as she and the nurses were just about to pray with these ladies, "I just need to step outside for a little... I'm feeling a little faint."
Major understatement. The hot blackness was moving over me and I swayed down the hall and out onto the porch. I collapsed onto a bench but the afternoon sun was low and the porch was far too hot to give me relief. I saw a shaded strip of grass across the yard and I asked God to please help me get there. The earth took a hard tilt as I stood up and I bobbed and weaved my way across the gravel to the little lawn then threw myself down onto the cool moist grass.
It took about ten minutes for the earth and my brain to both settle. I got up and we finished the tour of the outside. We saw the chicken coop and the kitchen, the laundry area and the counseling room where people in the community can have their blood tested. We heard about how they try to make fresh juices for the residence to bolster their immunity. Tammy and I ended by circling up with the two lovely African nurses and praying for God's blessings in, through and around them.
Africa is overwhelming. How well I know it.
Saida, the first nurse we met, had little Connie in her arms. Connie arrived at the home in August. She was eight months old and both her parents had already passed away, victims of AIDS. She smiled in Saida's arms and giggled at me when I tried to engage her. She was a tiny baby without hope when she arrived. Now she is grinning and walking.
The goal at the home is to provide good nutrition along with the proper administration of the right drugs. With nutrition, meds, vitamins, good hygiene and lots of love and prayers, there are some great success stories out of that place. One of the women Tammy prayed with last time has now improved to the point of going home.
The children we just waking up from their afternoon naps as we visited their rooms. I felt a little emotional as I greeted them, but was not losing it.
The last room housed the three women. Tammy stood there calm and collected in her gentle, dignity-giving way. I, however, was beginning to cave.
The room had that hospital smell that can sometimes make you feel not so good and it was also fairly warm in there. But that wasn't it. Three factors were working on me hard.
This was my first encounter with AIDS. I've read about AIDS forever. I've been aware of the statistics in Africa and I was in Africa when AIDS was first becoming a word we knew. In 1990 we were caring for a baby whose mother had passed away just after giving birth. I was breast feeding the baby because I was already breastfeeding Trevor. But after a few days it dawned on me that maybe I shouldn't do this because this disease AIDS, which had not been seen yet in our area, was beginning to alarm people in the cities.
But all these years later, after all the early years of trying to teach people what it was, and then being gone when it really began to ravage the Maasai in our area, this today was now my first time to be meeting women I knew for certain were in advanced stages of AIDS.
I have to admit, it brought an unexpected fear up in me.
The second factor playing against me was the strong urine smell coming from Julianna's bed. It was hard to handle in the warm air that already carried that hospital smell.
But it was Julianna's story that was wiping me out. Julianna is epileptic and she is physically limited and cannot speak. For her to have contracted AIDS means that someone violated a handicapped girl who could do nothing about it. Who could do that?
The room was starting to spin.
I haven't fainted about anything in 20 years but I knew what was coming.
"Tammy," I said as she and the nurses were just about to pray with these ladies, "I just need to step outside for a little... I'm feeling a little faint."
Major understatement. The hot blackness was moving over me and I swayed down the hall and out onto the porch. I collapsed onto a bench but the afternoon sun was low and the porch was far too hot to give me relief. I saw a shaded strip of grass across the yard and I asked God to please help me get there. The earth took a hard tilt as I stood up and I bobbed and weaved my way across the gravel to the little lawn then threw myself down onto the cool moist grass.
It took about ten minutes for the earth and my brain to both settle. I got up and we finished the tour of the outside. We saw the chicken coop and the kitchen, the laundry area and the counseling room where people in the community can have their blood tested. We heard about how they try to make fresh juices for the residence to bolster their immunity. Tammy and I ended by circling up with the two lovely African nurses and praying for God's blessings in, through and around them.
Africa is overwhelming. How well I know it.
Love Drugs
I got this great mail from Jesse about love drugs. Thought others might enjoy it...
hey mom and dad!
well i had an incredible bio lab today!
i really just want to call you and tell you all about it, but you are
not in the country.
basically we talked about how humans are completely unique from
all other creatures. and we talked about the discovery of a
certain chemical that is the cause of the feelings of love! it is a chemical that causes all those speechless-tongue tied-can't-
sleep-scared-floating-exhilarating love feelings. and it is seen to
disappear after five years. explaining the honey moon period.
this has led to some scientists believing that we are designed for love that only lasts that long and then we should move on to another person.
HOWEVER, another scientist very recently discovered a chemical that
is also released in the brain AFTER the 5 year period that is called
oxytocin. and it causes DEEP satisfaction and contentment. not the
thrilling crazy love feel, but a deeper satisfaction feeling.
ok, and that is not all....this chemical has been clinically proven to
1) make people less susceptible to addictions and to break them easier
2 )to help boost immunity to disease
3) increase trust
and thirty seconds of back massage is a quick way to begin the
release of this chemical (but that only works if it is someone you
like).....
so based on this, it is biologically apparent that we are designed
for monogamous relationships, but not just monogamous relationships,
but life long relationships!!!!
so there you go!
and more random facts:
*the love chemical doesn't disappear after 5 years, it cycles...so it
comes back and then disappears over the years.
*chocolate contains this love chemical
so...EAT CHOCOLATE AND
LIVE IT UP!
and when you aren't so "in love"...back massages are good!
hey mom and dad!
well i had an incredible bio lab today!
i really just want to call you and tell you all about it, but you are
not in the country.
basically we talked about how humans are completely unique from
all other creatures. and we talked about the discovery of a
certain chemical that is the cause of the feelings of love! it is a chemical that causes all those speechless-tongue tied-can't-
sleep-scared-floating-exhilarating love feelings. and it is seen to
disappear after five years. explaining the honey moon period.
this has led to some scientists believing that we are designed for love that only lasts that long and then we should move on to another person.
HOWEVER, another scientist very recently discovered a chemical that
is also released in the brain AFTER the 5 year period that is called
oxytocin. and it causes DEEP satisfaction and contentment. not the
thrilling crazy love feel, but a deeper satisfaction feeling.
ok, and that is not all....this chemical has been clinically proven to
1) make people less susceptible to addictions and to break them easier
2 )to help boost immunity to disease
3) increase trust
and thirty seconds of back massage is a quick way to begin the
release of this chemical (but that only works if it is someone you
like).....
so based on this, it is biologically apparent that we are designed
for monogamous relationships, but not just monogamous relationships,
but life long relationships!!!!
so there you go!
and more random facts:
*the love chemical doesn't disappear after 5 years, it cycles...so it
comes back and then disappears over the years.
*chocolate contains this love chemical
so...EAT CHOCOLATE AND
LIVE IT UP!
and when you aren't so "in love"...back massages are good!
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Waking Up in Africa
Early morning in Africa and this is a great place to wake up. The birds make the most amazing noise as the light is about to rise. I love it. I really don’t think there is a better way to wake up than to noisy bird chatter. I’m not talking about the annoying caw of crows. It’s much more a racket of happy sounds.
We took three planes and finally landed in Nairobi last Friday night. Saturday morning we got on the bus to Arusha. It was about five hours (with stops) of bouncing along breathing diesel fumes. Ha!
Arusha is green and everything is in bloom. Mt Meru is very lovely when the clouds clear. It’s close and magnificent. A little farther away, Kilimanjaro appears through the evening light now and again.
It’s good to be here with Peter and Tammy. This family is our family. It’s a little weird to not have our kids here among us. We are usually four adults and eight kids together, though some of those kids are pretty much adults now too ☺
Well, it makes it all feel more like reality to actually be here and to be walking through the school Wild Hope has been helping and to meet the young men on the soccer team that Wild Hope has come alongside. Byron and Peter rode out on motorcycles and looked at land ideas. We want to build homes together and have enough space to house teams. The community in the slums where the school and soccer team is would love us to help with English lessons for the kids. Just one of many ways to put future teams to work.
We fly back to LA on Monday the 20th, arriving on 21st. Pray God shows us all we need to see and know in this week.
Something wakes up in us when we are in Africa. It feels like purpose and passion and joy.
We took three planes and finally landed in Nairobi last Friday night. Saturday morning we got on the bus to Arusha. It was about five hours (with stops) of bouncing along breathing diesel fumes. Ha!
Arusha is green and everything is in bloom. Mt Meru is very lovely when the clouds clear. It’s close and magnificent. A little farther away, Kilimanjaro appears through the evening light now and again.
It’s good to be here with Peter and Tammy. This family is our family. It’s a little weird to not have our kids here among us. We are usually four adults and eight kids together, though some of those kids are pretty much adults now too ☺
Well, it makes it all feel more like reality to actually be here and to be walking through the school Wild Hope has been helping and to meet the young men on the soccer team that Wild Hope has come alongside. Byron and Peter rode out on motorcycles and looked at land ideas. We want to build homes together and have enough space to house teams. The community in the slums where the school and soccer team is would love us to help with English lessons for the kids. Just one of many ways to put future teams to work.
We fly back to LA on Monday the 20th, arriving on 21st. Pray God shows us all we need to see and know in this week.
Something wakes up in us when we are in Africa. It feels like purpose and passion and joy.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Tomorrow, Africa!
Tomorrow Byron and I leave for 10 days in Tanzania. We are so happy we get to go pray, dream and plan with Peter and Tammy face to face and on African soil!
But things are a little crazy around here today. We have The Killers playing loudly to hype me up into high gear mode and frankly, if Byron catches me blogging right now I'm gonna be in deep doo doo. Love you, Byron :-)
But even as my mind is racing through the do-list for the day, and my body is frantically trying to keep up, I'm still thinking about Ted and all the fall out. One of the side shows in the fall out revolves around Mark Driscoll's comments on his blog in which he mentions that pastors wives should not let themselves go and that they need to be sexually available to their husbands. He says that many of these ladies have not kept up in these areas.
Could be. But I can't help but think of the pastors who are not emotionally available to their wives. They are obsessed with their success and their leadership role. They function as if the church can't manage without them, nor can the Kindgom. They leave wife and kids behind in the dust of their ever busy ministry schedule and then they wonder why she's not available.
But things are a little crazy around here today. We have The Killers playing loudly to hype me up into high gear mode and frankly, if Byron catches me blogging right now I'm gonna be in deep doo doo. Love you, Byron :-)
But even as my mind is racing through the do-list for the day, and my body is frantically trying to keep up, I'm still thinking about Ted and all the fall out. One of the side shows in the fall out revolves around Mark Driscoll's comments on his blog in which he mentions that pastors wives should not let themselves go and that they need to be sexually available to their husbands. He says that many of these ladies have not kept up in these areas.
Could be. But I can't help but think of the pastors who are not emotionally available to their wives. They are obsessed with their success and their leadership role. They function as if the church can't manage without them, nor can the Kindgom. They leave wife and kids behind in the dust of their ever busy ministry schedule and then they wonder why she's not available.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Regarding: Ted
Well, every Christ-follower I know is sad about the events that have unfolded around Ted Haggard these last few days.
( Just in case you don't know what I'm talking about, Ted was the pastor of an amazing church body called New Life Church in Colorado Springs. 11,000 members there. And he was the head of the National Association of Evangelicals, a rather massive organization here in the States. Apparently he has been buying drugs from a gay prostitute and has been involved in sexually immoral conduct.)
Twice during our years in Kenya we had the joy of hosting groups of young people from New Life who came all the way out to our place among the Maasai to do summer mission work. They were great.
Amid all the grief, I'm thankful that I'm not hearing judgementalism. I just hear a terrible sadness. There are many things to grieve in this situation which we can all see without me pointing them out.
For me, I am mostly sad that it doesn't seem like there was a small group around Ted that all had total access into each other's lives, who asked the hard questions and who fought for each other. Maybe there was a group like this and he was holding out on them. I don't know. But it doesn't appear that way from here.
In all of this, I am thankful for a couple of things. I am thankful for the teammates I have shared life with who are raw and bold with each other. I am thankful that Peter and Tammy, whom we will soon join in Tanzania, are this way too. Not to say that their closeness can totally keep me from sin. I'm sure I can hold out on people if I want to. But at least we value and work toward transparency. Though it's not always comfortable, I am grateful.
And I am thankful for the way it seems that Ted is handling what is going on. You can read his full statement to New Life Church here . He could be making things much worse with a proud, defiant stand.
I keep thinking that somehow in heaven there is joy as another one of us faces his brokenness.
( Just in case you don't know what I'm talking about, Ted was the pastor of an amazing church body called New Life Church in Colorado Springs. 11,000 members there. And he was the head of the National Association of Evangelicals, a rather massive organization here in the States. Apparently he has been buying drugs from a gay prostitute and has been involved in sexually immoral conduct.)
Twice during our years in Kenya we had the joy of hosting groups of young people from New Life who came all the way out to our place among the Maasai to do summer mission work. They were great.
Amid all the grief, I'm thankful that I'm not hearing judgementalism. I just hear a terrible sadness. There are many things to grieve in this situation which we can all see without me pointing them out.
For me, I am mostly sad that it doesn't seem like there was a small group around Ted that all had total access into each other's lives, who asked the hard questions and who fought for each other. Maybe there was a group like this and he was holding out on them. I don't know. But it doesn't appear that way from here.
In all of this, I am thankful for a couple of things. I am thankful for the teammates I have shared life with who are raw and bold with each other. I am thankful that Peter and Tammy, whom we will soon join in Tanzania, are this way too. Not to say that their closeness can totally keep me from sin. I'm sure I can hold out on people if I want to. But at least we value and work toward transparency. Though it's not always comfortable, I am grateful.
And I am thankful for the way it seems that Ted is handling what is going on. You can read his full statement to New Life Church here
I keep thinking that somehow in heaven there is joy as another one of us faces his brokenness.
Friday, November 03, 2006
The Kind of Water That Quenches Your Thirst
Colin's got this thing about how some water doesn't really work. He'll say, "It was that kind of water that, you know, just makes you more thirsty." I think it's some kind of really minerally water that he's talking about.
I was driving around today (don't ask how we ended up all over the greater Los Angeles area on our way to the airport to get my parents who flew in from Hong Kong) and I was thinking about water that doesn't work.
Jesus told the woman at the well that he could give her water that would make her never be thirsty again. That sounds like water that works to me.
But I was wondering if I really help people find that source. Do I say, "I know some really good water that you'll love" but then model living a life that actually isn't drawing from that source much at all? Am I a sometimes visitor at the well of really good water while surviving in the between times on some little canteen of dorky water?
My mind is kind of spinning around (partly cuz I'm tired) with different ways this metaphor could unfold. I don't think I will belabor the point.
I'm just thinking today about wanting be filled with the really good water. I don't want to be handing out cups of counterfeit water. Or even cups of pretty good water. I want to drink the good stuff. The life giving, no more thirst stuff. And I want to fill great pitchers of that and share it with those around me.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Happy Birthday Baba
Oh it's Baba's birthday on November first!
This is a really recent photo and Barbara sent it because she knew Heather would get a big kick out of seeing her in pink. Heather has teased her FOREVER about why she never wears this color.
Barbara Leite
Happy Birthday!!
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