Colin's Feet

This is Colin's self-portrait that he took last week.

I think it's a cool photo and have been wanting a reason to post it. So... I finally found one.

Colin's soccer team lost today but he scored his team's one goal. It was a really nice goal too. The goalie kicked it out and it came to Colin. He chipped it up over the defenders and it sunk in behind the goalie who was still just a little out of his place.

Very nice indeed.

Just thought I'd show you the feet that scored that pretty goal :-)

Fast Food

My hands smell like fast food. I feel like washing them.

Tonight we went to In-'n-Out, a classic hamburger joint. I would like to pause here and point out that this fine city, Pasadena, had the first ever In-'n-Out AND the first ever Trader Joe's. This is a cool city, except that it's now getting taken over by condos.

But the truth is, I didn't want to go to In-'n-Out. I'm a little spoiled about food. I have this thing about processed white bread. I don't believe it should be eaten. So I felt very brave eating the hamburger bun. It was an act against my first-world finicky-ness that says I should only put certain things in my mouth.

Now, I actually believe it's good to avoid white bread and mayo and greasy meat etc. I believe it's right that I make choices for whole foods.

But I don't think it's right to be a snob about that.

Heather won an award at school and part of her prize included a coupon for In-'n'-Out. Clever of the joint to give one free hamburger, knowing the child will likely come with a family that will order quite a few other things. Anyway....

I used to be against beef and pork for health reasons, and I would still find it hard to down a sausage or hot dog or piece of lunch meat. (But you should see me finish off the black pork in our favorite little village restaurant in Portugal!)

To be honest, as the afternoon moved on toward evening and I knew we would be going to the fast-food place soon, I thought about eating before or after the trip. I thought about making my own healthier option at home.

But I really felt this would take away from Heather's celebratory meal. She was honored with her prize and this little outing was for her. I felt like I needed to participate and not be a food-snob.

I realize this must all sound pretty ridiculous to most people but it really was kind of a big deal to me. I ate the hamburger with both sides of the bun, even though I think white bread is an idea from hell meant to take all the goodness of out a grain and leave us fat and un-nourished.

I took it a step further. I ate some french fries and I even took big gulps of Heather's chocolate shake. It was quite a night!

I'll admit it: I feel like I need to make fresh carrot juice now to cleanse my body but I don't have any carrots so I don't have to fight this urge too hard.

Now I realize this makes me sound like a health food nut or at least a really healthy eater. I don't think I am, particularly. I just have a few rules in my head.

Somehow I feel more grown-up to have broken my rules for a good reason tonight. Yes, I wanted Heather to be blessed. And I was mindful of all the people who would be so thankful for that burger, white bread and all.

Not Profound

I thought maybe I would have something profound to say for this my 100th post.

Sadly, profound is not in the works for today. Today I have been tired and stressed. One thing I hate, yea even two that I despise... To research and book flights on the internet and to calendar with my husband.

My mind gets all boggled with the flight plans and frequent flyer miles and dates and times and best use of funds. My brain gets further fried looking at the calendar and discussing how to fit in all we need to do before departure for Tanzania.

Two things I love, even three that hath blessed me... My mother spent hours and hours researching flights for me today and this helped me avoid losing my mind. While Byron's neck was all stiff and weird and he suffered various strange manifestations of stress during his work day, I sat like a veg beside her and let her fingers do the walking.

Then I went to help Heather's class begin their quilting project. The lovely Mrs. Sykes spoke to the 22 eight year olds in the calmest, most soothing voice as she led them through the exercise. Her gentle and amazing teaching gift was some kind of balm to me as I listened to her.

She reminded me of Esther, the third thing to love, whom I spoke with last night on the phone. Remember Beautiful Esther of my October post? She said she was reading about the storm that Jesus stilled and the Scripture says that afterward "there was a GREAT calm."

Oh Lord, trying to move our family to Tanzania, with the myriad of things that must be accomplished before-hand, feels like a wild ocean to me.

Speak to this storm. I would love a great calm.

You've Got Mail

You may recall that Jesse (not Jesus, Rebecca!) accused me of having issues because my inbox had over 1,500 mails in it.

Well, I worked really hard over the Christmas break and got that down to less than 50. I opened new files for mails that I need to keep like "24-7prayer" and "Supporting Churches." I also opened files for friends who I just happen to like their mails a lot. That's how you know if I love your mails, if I can't delete them. Pathetic, I know. (Most of my close emailers already had files named for them, "Nelly" "Tanya" etc.) And I hit the delete button a zillion times.

But I am slipping. It's only 23 January and I'm already back up to 241 mails in the inbox.

Darn!

I'll try to be better, Jesse. I promise!

The Answer for the Blues

Jesse gave me The Monkees Greatest Hits for Christmas. God bless him! What a guy.

When I'm feeling down or stressed or generally not in the best mood, I have found a little secret that puts it all right...

I play "I'm a Believer" at high volume and dance my heart out.

Mmmmmmm.... SO GOOD!

"Space, the final frontier..."

We were Trekkers. Yes, it's true. For ten years we lived as close neighbors with Maasai communities by day while at night we explored other galaxies with Captain John-Luc Piccard and Captain Kathryn Janeway. We had a simple solar power set-up and a tiny little television, but that's all we needed. Thanks to our teammate Dave Snyder's collection of Star Trek: the Next Generation and Star Trek: Voyager, we were well supplied with video tapes and we were hooked. There was something fantastic and fun about the extreme differences in our daytime and nighttime worlds.

My friend Russell sent me a link to some outrageously beautiful photographs of outer space taken by the Hubble Space Telescope. They fill me with wonder and worship. What a God!

Click on the link below to see the photos and begin your voyage.

"Make it so!"

Homeward Bound

Still five hours to go on this plane ride and I’m so ready to be home. It feels a little anticlimactic to remember that Jesse will not be there as he’s away at college, and Trevor will not be there as he’s in India. I’ve been missing them all so much! Yesterday I kept listening to Trevor’s music and looking at photos of them all. I’ve got the mother hen thing going on when I feel the need to gather all the chicks close to me. They are very patient with me, never frowning or groaning when I call them “the babies.” Like, “Can you tell the babies it’s time to eat?” Mother privileges…

This has been an amazing trip. Honestly, I feel so blessed by the company I’ve kept. The folks on this wee leadership team for 24-7 are so great. I’d love for you to meet them. Some of them blog, (Brian , Carla , Billy , Andy .) Pete W. runs Living Generously and Pete G. (with a group of friends) kind of accidentally started the whole 24-7prayer thing. We worked hard and laughed hard and prayed hard too. I look forward to our next meeting.

Then I had a little more than 24 hours in Belfast with Brian and Pauline. I suppose the best way to introduce them to you would be to suggest you peruse Brian's site . His music is such a pleasure to me. The friendship with Bri and Po is an even greater pleasure. We had great talks and some crazy moments doing things like hoping the van wouldn’t fall off the jack as we stood in the cold and dark and rain by the side of the motorway while Brian struggled with a flat tire.

After Belfast I zipped over to England to spend two days with the Transit participants. I enjoyed their hospitality and led three sessions with them in which I taught some lessons dear to my heart regarding things learned along the way. (Gentleness of God, His desire to make us whole, Our life response to him.)

Tuesday night I crashed with the wonderful Freeman family. It felt good to be with kids again. Thanks for the game of catch, Jessica, and for the Guinness stew, Karen. I was well cared for and sent off on the early morning bus to Heathrow.

Nothing eventful during the wait for the plane but when I collected my email I was so shocked to find out my sweet little family thought I was arriving yesterday and Byron even went all the way to LAX to get me! Bless him! No one should have to drive to the airport and back for nothing. I will cover him in kisses when I get home. (I breathe a sigh of relief to know I DID give them my itinerary and it was just a mis-read and not something I did to confuse them!)

So the time on the plane passes slowly but I have been cheered by the offbeat film, Little Miss Sunshine. The family in the film is my new image of the kind of community I love…. a mixed bag of wounded, inappropriate and broken people learning to care for each other, to grow and to go forward together. Plus, there are Sufjan songs in the soundtrack. Nice one!

Home soon. Happy me!

Questions

So many questions.

There are times when my mind is just full of them. I think that I thought this would be a symptom of youth. Like you would have loads of questions as you started into life, but as life progressed you would find more and more of the answers. Maturity, then, would be a feeling of understanding so many things.

At this point, the point of being 44 and having some level of maturity that has happened along the way, it doesn't really feel the way I guess I thought it might.

It doesn't feel scary. It doesn't feel desperate or hopeless. Confused at time, yes. (Often, actually.) Anger sometimes. (More often than I would like to admit.) A deeper sense of wonder. A more profound understanding of the brevity and fragile nature of life.

But overall, a sense that the questions don't diminish. Rather, they seem to increase.

I love the Jars of Clay lyric that says, "You take away my firm belief and graft my soul upon your grief."

It feels like I used to carry this firm belief that if you "just do such and so" the result will be some prescribed scenario that I believed to be the correct scenario. That "firm belief" loosens.

And there are times when my soul feels smashed up and crushed on the grief of the world.

I know Who it is I look to the answers for. I am more at peace with the fact that He isn't all that forthcoming with them.

All day I've had the hymn Rock of Ages in my head. I don't sing it with crashing piano accompaniment in mind or with a marching beat. I sing it with a mournful kind of hope.

"Rock of Ages cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee."

Yes, Lord, in Thee.

Rostrevor

Here I am in the "place of Trevor" :-)
(click on the image for a larger view!)

My 24-7prayer friend, Carla, posted this photo of the center we're staying at for our meetings so I thought I'd do the same.

This is the Christian Renewal Center and they've been lovely hosts to us these last few days. It was sunny like this on the afternoon that we arrived but it's just been storming like mad since then. Makes us feel extra cozy inside. We've been looking out on the Irish Sea and watching the effect of the wind on the waves and trees along the shoreline.

The cool thing about this place is that it's a prayer center that has for many, many years been focused on praying healing for Ireland.

There is palpable peace here even in the storm.

Plane Silence

I just sat next to someone on a plane for 11 hours and didn't really say anything to her at all.

Is that weird?

I did smile and say "hello" when I first sat down. Two points for nice smile and friendly greeting. I was feeling extra happy about having been given an aisle seat even though they couldn't give me a seat assignment until about an hour before boarding.

We watched films together and ate meals together, but we didn't converse. At the end of the flight I commented on how beautiful the scarf was that was spread across her lap. Her mum had been crocheting it all flight and it really was pretty.

When I first sat down, my new neighbor was on her mobile phone. She was explaining to a friend all the traumas that had almost kept them from making their flight and she was crediting answered prayer for the resolution that ultimately resulted in them NOT missing their flight.

Phew! I didn't need to harken back to some long ago guilt that says I must "share" with the person in the seat next to me.

To be honest, the quiet of sitting with my own thoughts for a stretch of hours is a respite I look forward to. "Quiet" and "own thoughts" are not things I am used to. (Try being a mom for almost 20 years.)

I enjoyed my wordless little world.

But it still feels weird to think I was at the movies and eating and drinking and snoozing with someone that I never spoke to.

Deela

On Saturday evening my friend Deela received full healing for her ovarian cancer at home in The Hague.



She is now enjoying being in the presence of her Lord.
The rest of us miss her a great deal.

Byron and I worked on the Europe Team with Al and Deela.

I guess I just want to say that it has been an honor to walk with Al and Deela through these last three years as they bravely battled Deela's ferocious cancer.

Please pray for Al and the kids, Daniel, Bobby and Katie there in Europe. We love these guys.

Thanks.

Story Time: A Little History for Ya

(This one's for you, Kelly, cuz you said you like it when I bring out these old photos. Click on the snap for closer look.)

I came across this photo in Scott White's office the other day. I don't remember ever seeing it before, but I do remember the events leading up to the taking of it very well.

The photo was taken 17 years ago at Elangata Enterit in southern Kenya.

Why are we covered in mud and why are we so tired?

Greg and Mindy Yost (far left) had traveled with Scott and Nancy White (middle) out from California to see us where we were living among the Maasai.

It was the rainy season. (Not a very a good time to travel where there are no roads in a vehicle that has no winch.) But that was when they were able to come out be with us and we were not about to just hang out in Nairobi with them. What would the point of that be? No, we set off to take them home to our place for a few days.

The 75 kilometers of plains between the end of the tarmac road and our house were rain-soaked and slick. That might not be too bad except that merchant lorries delivering supplies to the tiny shops along the way couldn't really make a decent go of it and so they were stuck here and there like great Tonka toys stuck in wet cement.

If I had to choose anyone to navigate a situation like this I would choose Byron hands down every time. The boy knows how to handle a four wheel drive and an impassable road.

So the road was blocked by stuck trucks and we had to go around them. Going around them meant we had to drive up over the little rise on the edge of the "road" and cross a section of plain and get back onto this track thing called "road." But the plains were full of ditches and ruts and rocks and grooves and shrubby little trees and various other hazards.

I don't remember now how many detours we took before landing in a deep and car sucking ditch. I remember that Byron did everything he knew to do. I remember that Greg and Scott pushed and shoved and dug and gave it their all, but the old Toyota remained resolutely stuck.

It was raining. It was impossible. They tried for hours until they finally had to say "Enough." There was no other choice now on this dark wet night but to get the guys back inside and huddle up to wait out the night. If it would stop raining and if the ground would drain a little, things would firm slightly. Plus, things seem to get easier in daylight. (Have you even noticed that?)

Mindy, Nancy and I had spent the time inside telling funny stories from our lives and praying for success while cheering the guys on as they struggled in the rain. Jesse and baby Trevor were asleep on the seat next to me. No one had any supper. Now the guys climbed in, soaked and exhausted. I propped Trevor in a baby seat at my feet and had Jesse between me and Byron. The others were packed across the back seat.

Everyone slept a little except for me. The reason I couldn't sleep was because the car was tilted to one side and I didn't have an adult next to me that I could lean against so I was having to hold myself up all night.

In the light of the new day, the boys resumed their hard work and we did finally dig free. We traveled the next 90 mins or so home in a kind of delirium.

Once we got there, we climbed out and took this photo.

I love all the history in this snap. I love the soft look of baby pounds still clinging to me. I love the fact that Byron looks so completely un-amused. I love that Greg and Mindy and Scott and Nancy had never been on a missions trip before and this was their breaking in. I love that Greg and Mindy soon returned to Kenya and have been there pretty much ever since. (They chose to work in the very barren desert among the Turkana. I wonder if this rainy night influenced that choice!) I love that Scott went on to take the Perspectives on the World Christian Movement course, then began to teach it, then began to co-ordinate it for the Western region of the United States and then became the Missions Pastor for a 4,000 member church. (Sorry to mess up all your lives, friends!) And I love that John and Deanne Lewis immediately bought a very fine winch for our car (that pulled us out of many ditches over the next ten years) after they heard about this night.

If you've ever been in a home of ours you'll know we love photographs (and memories.) Byron got Scott to scan the photo then made a lovely rustic frame for it and placed it under the tree for me.

Priceless memories. Priceless friends.