Monday, January 11, 2010

New Shapes and Sizes (or We Adapt)

As the boys took their leave for Kenya and California, Byron, Heather and I looked, I'm sure, a little forlorn. It's just downright weird to be only three of us in the house.

Let's review: Jesse is soon to be 23, Trevor is 20 and Colin is 16. Heather, by the way, is 11. While Jesse and Trevor are "supposed" to be away, Colin's absence is plain unnatural. Don't get me wrong, I think he's at a great school where he's doing well. It's just 7 hours too far away from home!

We cherished our time together over the holidays, but now we claim our right to a little melt down. Heather has already cashed in. On the day after they'd all gone, she flung herself down beside me on my bed and gave way to all the drama in her head.

"Jesse and Trevor are going to get married and come home with their TODDLERS and we're just never going to all live together again and it's not right!"

While I thought it was a little early to imagine Jesse and Trevor married (to lovely women, I'm sure) and chasing toddlers around the place, I felt for her. From my perspective, the changes that lie ahead might seem weird, but they still seem right and good. Our kids are supposed to grow up and make their own way and, yes, marry and have TODDLERS! That's all part of the deal.

But Heather's take on it is different. Yes, MY kids are supposed to grow up. But that's not how she's looking at it. My kids can take flight, but HER SIBLINGS better not. As you've gathered, Heather's a bit of a caboose. She was a long anticipated, hugely desired and wildly welcomed caboose, but a late addition nonetheless. And she isn't feeling too much enthusiasm about the rest of the train rushing off without her.

Still, there's nothing for it but to venture on. May the years before us bring many happy surprises as we continue to embrace new ways of being family.


Diane said...

Thanks for that. Realised a lot of the hassles with my 2 is that Tabi isn't happy with Ben growing up! There are only 2 years between them but she really did struggle when he left home school and went to college, started having friends, dating, etc. much worse than I did. Good to know its "normal"

Da said...

Hi have a nice day