Departure Day in Review (or I Love Byron)

The final week in the States will probably always remain a blur to me. Looking back on it, I am most thankful for the sweet times shared with friends and family in the midst of the last minute stress and details of leaving.

Every time we do this, every time we leave one continent and head for another, I am thankful all over again for Byron. We have totally different styles of prep. I get nostalgic and weepy and generally un-useful. Byron gets practical and efficient and generally unfriendly. Dang, I love him. He's the reason we arrive with all we need. Whether that be school books for the next year of home school, a chainsaw for some project's needs, an electric piano for a daughter who is head over heels in love with playing, or a fruit dryer for an income generating endeavor for women at risk, we'll have what we need because Byron will have packed it... and packed it well. We would be a mess if the packing were left to me.

Of course, we would go nowhere if the booking of flights and arranging of schedules were left to him so maybe I am a little useful after all.

I don't know how many bazillion hours Byron worked during our final week in California but I do know that he worked from 5am to 5pm on our day of departure. We then left for the airport at 5:05pm.

After getting all 12 large bags checked (and winning points from check-in guy for good organization, leading to an upgrade to nicer seats) Byron collapsed at the gate and slept for about an hour on the floor.

Heather put these Starbursts on his tummy cuz he loves them and she loves him and because we were spending all our leftover US change at the little shop there.

Byron... I don't know anyone else like him :-)

A House (Soon to be a Home)

We've found a house to rent at last. Can your hear our collective sigh of relief?

We're in the process of moving in and it's taking longer than we'd like due to getting the water and power sorted out and the shuttling over of about one million boxes from our container, which arrived safely from Portugal a couple of weeks ago.

The house is spacious and clean inside. The tile floors will be cold during July and August! The outside of it is a very mustardy yellow. Not so attractive but we don't mind. We're just happy to start making beds and putting things away in cupboards.

The internet access is being set up so hopefully we'll be on-line from home in the next couple of days.

So that's the brief report to say:

1) We've found a good house in a decent location
2) We're busy moving in and
3) We're happy :-)

Thanks for prayers! I'll post a photo soon.

Here We Are in Tanzania!

And so I begin my first post as a resident of Tanzania. Crazy but true, we are finally here.

We are all in the woozy, mind numbing throes of jetlag after well over twenty four hours of door-to-door travel. We've changed ten time zones.

Let me just give you the quotes that stand out in my mind from this journey...

Late at night before our departure, Byron briefs Jesse (20) who will spend a night in Nairobi on his way here in a few weeks:

"Staying alone at a hotel in Nairobi you will be approached by prostitutes. Probably lots of them. Remember, prostitutes are people just like anyone else. Be nice, polite and firm that you are NOT interested."

Standing in line at check-in Colin (13) comments:

"Man, living in America was hard. This is the day I've been waiting for. It's like my reward."

A woman traveler at security who was not happy that they took away several large bottles of liquids from her hand-luggage:

"This is RIDICULOUS! I'm from Canada! We don't HAVE terrorism in CANADA!"

On the second flight when Colin and Heather woke up and realized we were over Africa they looked out the window eagerly. Heather (8) looked back at Colin with very bright eyes and said:

"Colin! We're going HOME!"

This morning Colin asked:

"Does it seem like people are more friendly here?" When I responded positively he said, "It's a whole different world--more heavenly."

Trevor (17), who traveled via a cheaper route and got in 18 hours after us, keeps looking around and saying:

"I'm so happy. I'm SO HAPPY!"

Had to get those down before I forgot them. That's all from my foggy brain.

Thanks for traveling with us :-)

And Now for Something Completely Different...

Everyone deals with stress in their own peculiar way. I clench my teeth in the night and get knots in my shoulders.

I wish I didn't.

Byron sighs heavy sighs and carries a panicky look about him. (He can also get kind of grumpy.)

I wish he didn't.

But lately we're turning over a new leaf in stress management.

The closer we get to departure, the more the crunch comes down on us, the more frequently we watch Nacho Libre.

Yep, it's Jack Black to the rescue. (Three times in the last five evenings!)

I think it's the missionary theme and the work with orphans that must be drawing us in.

Ha!

"It sucks to be me right now!"

No Getting Up!

I really didn't want to get up today. OK, yea, we were awakened several times in the night messaging back and forth with Trevor to find out when to pick him up where after his adventures at the prom. (Yes, he looked very cute all spiffed up!) But that wasn't it.

With three weeks till fly time I am fighting the feeling of checking out when I really cannot afford to check out. I need to stay engaged because there are details that I need to tend to.

But I told Byron I couldn't get out of bed because I was nauseated. He looked alarmed, or course, but I said:

"Not REALLY! Just figuratively. I can't get out of bed because I will continue to feel like throwing up until I know that the dog's travel arrangements are in place, that the check we posted by secure post to our bank (for $13,000!) is not lost after all, and that the shipper has finalized details and is coming for our little crate."

Byron laughed. He laughed at me!

"Don't laugh at me! I need you!" I responded.

"What do you need?" he said with his cute face on.

"I need some of your fried eggs," I answered, pulling the duvet up over my nose.

It's later now. I'm out of bed. I'm showered and dressed and ready to face the do list once again.

Beautiful isn't it how fried eggs with toast and a cup of tea give me courage for the tasks ahead :-)

(I do wonder how I would manage without the Egg Man.)

A Blessing

We received a little blessing recently. It was meaningful to me. I guessed it blessed me!

"May you not be paralyzed by an endless moving-related to-do list,

And may you remember that everything will somehow get done,

And that this stage is part of the adventure of the journey too… "


Thanks, Lisa McKay, for your words over us.

(Painting by Bernard Hoyes)

And so it Begins... Again

"I'm going to start packing now" Byron announced on his way out the door. He was using his serious "I"m warning you" voice.
"Congratulations!" I said in my cheeky voice. I like to counter "Serious Boy" with "Cheeky Girl."

He was on his way out for his Monday morning coffee with Scott but he was announcing none-too-subtly that from here on out we are in packing mode. That means that we are not stuffing our junk in the back of closests anymore. No, we are now officially either throwing out what is not going with us, or finding the appropriate piece of luggage and placing it inside. Actually, the luggage part is probably still a week or so off, but we are at least in the sorting/pre-packing phase now.

Can I tell you how much I hate packing? Have I mentioned it before?

Someone recently asked me how long we plan to be in Tanzania. With as many international moves as I have notched on my suitcases I answered somewhat wearily. "I'm not planning to move again any time soon so unless there is a Major Act of God, we're in Tanzania till kingdom come."

Ah, the fun of it all!

"I'm feelin' betta..."

Here's my update on how I'm doing avoiding meltdown.

We are maneuvering our way toward yet another family move across the globe (See my 3 recent posts before Jesse's birthday) so I'm trying to hold onto some scraps of sanity.

On my list of things to do to help in this process, I have

1. Not been much better about going walking

2. Nor have I eaten any fair trade chocolate

3. I have had tea in the morning sun with Byron

4. And we have spoken with God about the things we are stressed about

5. I've had lunch with Lori (and Jenelle!)

6. And napped to Brian Houston's 35 Summers

7. I've prepared gifts for people I love

8. And called Tanya

9. I have not danced with Heather (who is white and weak with stomach flu today)

10. But I have asked Jesus to hold my hand and help me through this move to Africa

Bonus item: I've also made some major headway on booking our complicated tickets so there does seem to be light somewhere ahead :-)

One of these days we will land in Tanzania, a family with bewildered expression and the bedraggled look of those who have been in transition for long and anticipate it going on for longer still. We will not really know how we got there but we will realize that God and some very big-hearted friends helped us a great deal along the way.

We are getting there "slowly by slowly" as my Kenyan friends used to say.

I need to stop by for some of that fair trade chocolate and celebrate a little.

Shopping Toward Departure

6 weeks till departure and I'm going over my lists. I spent the entire morning compiling vaccination records into one spreadsheet. We have little scraps of paper from all over the world telling us who got jabbed with what when. Now I need to focus on school stuff for Colin and Heather.

Byron's list is totally different. It's all heavy metal. It stresses him out to spend the money but, actually, that's what the money was given for. He does this weird breathing thing as we drive around on errands. It's like a big sigh every couple of minutes. "Stop it with the heavy sighs!" I said to him. "You're wearing me out listening to you!"

But truthfully, I wouldn't want his job. He bought the winch for the car today. I teased him later, "I can't believe you didn't get my in-put on which one to buy!" So he pointed to his computer screen and asked if I could help him choose an inverter for the house. He got a high-lift jack today as well. And a snatch block. I know what a high-lift jack is. I have no idea what a snatch-block is.

He took much longer than I expected on his final errands of the day and his phone didn't seem to be getting a signal so I couldn't reach him. I started to really wonder where he was. Then I started to worry. Then I started to wait for the police to show up at the door. As I waited for the bad news, I tried to figure out where the kids and I were going to live now that we were Byron-less. I wondered what this was going to do to Jesse's 20th birthday celebration tomorrow. What a bad way to turn 20.

But then Byron turned up with all his heavy gear in tow and my worries floated away. I guess I got over it quickly cuz I didn't even help him heat up his dinner. I just left him to it. (Of course I WAS helping Colin and Heather with home work issues by then.)

Tomorrow we'll take a break from preparations and go up to Santa Barbara to see Jesse on his 20th. That will be good.

And we still have Byron with us! Hurrah!

How to Avoid Meltdown

Ok, so here's my list of things to do to avert future meltdowns:

1. Go walking even when I don't think I have time

2. Eat some fair trade chocolate

3. Take a tray of tea out into the morning sun with Byron

4. While enjoying the morning sun, speak to God about the things we're stressed about

5. Have lunch with Lori (someone who knows about every boy I've ever kissed and every other secret from age 11-21)

6. Put on Brian Houton's 35 Summers album and take a nap to it

7. Prepare a gift for someone I love

8. Call Tanya

9. Dance with Heather

10. Ask Jesus to hold my hand and walk me through this move to Africa

No More Thinking Please

I'm so tired I'm numb all over. I want to get into bed. I don't want to have to THINK about anything... at least for a while.

I can't work out how to book six tickets to Kilimanjaro Airport. Several of us are traveling on different dates. Some return. Some return only as far as London and then need another ticket back to Tanzania. Should we go through Nairobi or Dar? Is the customs in Kenya worth the hassle in order to land there and shuttle down on the bus? Would be more efficient though longer to go through Dar?

Where is Trevor going for college? That depends on what is best for who he is. What IS best for who he is?

Can he get to Tanzania early, like he would like to? It would be so cool. But what about Colin back here? Colin kind of needs Trevor around. Brothers are important and he'll be gone soon enough without leaving any earlier than he has to. On the other hand, Colin will live if Trevor does travel early.

Is this container thing really going to work out? Is it better to air freight the motorcycles?

How many motorcycles have we shipped to Africa in the past, anyway? Why do the shipping companies sound like they know less than we do?

What can I expect? Am I behaving in an "entitled" way when I think it would be nice to be able to afford to bring my college-aged kids back to Africa a couple of times?

How do we get everything done we need to before flying?

Does the dog need more shots? I know WE need more shots. Where are our immunization records?

What else will Colin and Heather need for home school next year?

Do I have to do what people expect of me?

What if I start yelling?

Can I go to bed now?

A Little Fear on Our Way Toward Departure

Oh Seattle! We felt so loved!

It's nice how love produces love. We felt loved and now we think everyone we talked with in Seattle is the greatest :-) Seriously though, we felt really cared about by all the supporters, mission teams and friends that we met with over the last ten days.

Of all the people we told our "Why we're off to Africa" story to, my favorite was a class of thirty 16 year olds I spoke to at my niece's public high school. I asked them what they can buy for $2. They said a candy bar, a cup of coffee, a cheeseburger. They thought they could maybe make it for a couple hours on $2. We talked about the fact that 2.7 billion people live on less than $2 a day.

I really enjoyed being with that group. It made me happy to be able to tell them about stuff.

Anyway, it won't be long now till we book our tickets for April or May and I suddenly have this weird feeling...

We've been running around raising funds and getting things in order to move and pretty soon we're gonna be there and the dust is gonna settle and you know what? We're going to look around and say "OH MY WORD? WHAT HAVE WE DONE? WHAT ARE WE DOING BACK IN AFRICA??"

I realize it's normal but it can feel a little weird to know something is right and to want it really badly and to be scared to death of it at the same time.

Somewhere in the World

Tonight I can tell that my little family is feeling a bit worn out.

We sound a little short with each other, I would say, but not aggressively so. Just tired-of-this so.

For the most part, we are doing well through this transition. But tonight we are a little weary of being displaced.

This is a good home that we feel very safe and secure in, here in Pasadena.

But right now we seem to all be longing for somewhere else.

I don't think it's entirely clear to any of us where that might be.

Oh My Word!

Look at all this stuff!

Nelly moved away with five big bags and a guitar. Looks like we've got a little more than that!

The container comes tomorrow and we'll be only too pleased to see this stuff loaded.

We've got a household's worth of furnishings and a big garage's worth of tools. I pack libraries of books for home ed while Byron packs things like chainsaws and generators.

Well, hats off to The Borden Boys who have worked non-stop for three weeks. Now we just need a home in Africa to un-pack it all in :-)

Pack Master

Thursday night we got home close to eleven after dinner out with friends. Though we had been packing all day, Byron's pack fever was running high and he went straight into hauling things out to the bins down on the street. He was carrying out our bedside table to the designated give-away spot by the dumpster where we found it years ago in the first place.

But I was in the living room with Nelly. There she was with her belongings strewn from one end of the room to the other, a look of desperation on her face. Jenelle has been here three years. But Thursday night was her final one in Portugal. She's in the States now, getting ready for the next venture in following God.

There was too much stuff to fit into her bags. Moving with what you can take on a plane is always a challenge.

"I need a strategy," she kind of whimpered.

I looked at the bits and pieces of her material life and said, "You need Pack Master!"

So Byron's fervor was focused onto Nelly's goods and the fact that they needed to be on a plane in a few short hours. For the next couple of hours he dazzled Jenelle with his energy and brilliance as the king of all packers.

We took Miss Nelly to the plane Friday morning at dawn. The contents of her world were cleverly squeezed into Byron's amazing carry-all black duffel bags. He asked the man at the BA counter to please wave one bag and though the guy was a bit taken aback by this bold request, he did allow one big honker to go free.

Nelly and her stuff got to Baltimore safe and sound. She wrote to say her parents were in awe of the pack job.

I wasn't surprised at all. The boy is no stranger to this task. When it comes to packing, no one else even comes close.

Kids' Films and Comfort Food

We're all at what feels like the thin edge of our strength now in this packing up thing. I think that if the container came tomorrow we'd be happy to leave behind whatever we haven't yet packed. But the container comes next Tuesday and we will likely be working right up till the last minute.

We've gotten rid of so much, but it's still more than we've moved before. When Byron and I left California 100 years ago, oh no, it was only 22 years ago.... Anyway, when we left there we didn't own much. When we packed up in Africa in 2000, we didn't own much that was worth keeping. Now it makes more sense to take what we already have than to try to re-purchase it in Tanzania.

But we're all weary of this work.

Two things have helped. Heather has been watching The Sandlot. Sandlot is one of our family's very favorite films, and we're not even baseball fans! Just hearing the dialogue as the rest of us pack in different parts of the house has been keeping us laughing. We all ran into the sitting room to watch the scene when Squints kisses the very hot lifeguard. "This magic moment, when your lips are close to mine!" Oh my word. We love this film.

And then there's PB&J. Heather's friend asked me to make her a peanut butter and jam sandwich today. It looked so good when I got it done that I made one for myself, though to be honest, I wasn't really hungry. I can't think of the last time I ate peanut butter with jam. It's divine. It made me happy to eat it on that fresh whole wheat bread I picked up at the bakery today. Heavenly.

Little joys that keep us sane. I'm thankful for these.

Feelings Unplugged

I'm finding myself a little reticent to write posts these days. A landslide has begun here.

I cling to Barbara on the curb by the train station as she begins her three month sojourn. I have no idea when I will ever see her again. When she gets back to Portugal, I will be in the States. From there, I will head to Tanzania.

The lump in my throat feels like a grapefruit. The tears are hot on my face.

I told Barbara on the night before that I don't know anyone in whom Jesus seems to reside so comfortably. He seems so at home in B. She is so hospitable to him. But just like in Narnia ("Once a king or queen in Narnia, always a king or queen in Narnia) I figure "Once a Borden, always a Borden." Baba has become a permanent member of our family.

Still I have no idea when I will see her again.

I pull away and pick up Heather, who is sobbing beside me. We climb into the car and sit there, waving until she disappears into the cavernous station.

The landslide of emotions has begun as goodbyes gain momentum. I want to put up barriers around my heart to keep it from being crushed under the weight of what is passing over it.

But my little fences would be foolish.

I question God. "Aren't we supposed to love deeply? Then why do you ask us to part? What's wrong with you?"

I am sometimes called upon to teach on coping with this life of following God all over the world. I always speak about the difficult but better choice to live with open hearts and to love the people God brings into our lives, rather than to protect ourselves from the cycle of separation and loss by keeping folks at a distance.

"And love is not the easy thing/the only baggage you can bring is all that you can't leave behind."

I can't leave Baba behind. And so I won't. Yes, we physically part. But our fragile human hearts are permanently intertwined.

Still, it feels like someone just tore out a great chunk of mine.

Strength for the journey. That's what I need.