Monday, April 28, 2008

And I am Tired...

I am so tired tonight.

It doesn't make a lick of sense that I'm writing here. But I just want to make sure I am as close as possible to sound asleep before I put this little Mac away because I don't like going to sleep when Byron's not home. (I know, kinda pathetic.)

Neither of us slept much last night-- he with that pre-trip thing that keeps your mind ticking, veiled just ever so slightly by a light and unsatisfying sleep. It's a bad sleep like a non-fat something. Gross.

Me with all that too, just vicariously for him. I didn't have to get on a shuttle early this morning, rattle over 5 or so hours of bad road and then spend the afternoon in the back streets of Nairobi purchasing hundreds of dollars worth of beads for our fair trade artisan project, then getting said beads shipped back to our town before grabbing food and then making the painfully slow taxi ride through the congestion out to the airport for a midnight flight to the States. But I slept like I was facing it too.

Today I sort of bumped into walls and vaguely saw that Heather did school. I put laundry up and down on the line several times as the rain stopped and started throughout the morning.

I got stuck in the most nasty gridlock I've seen yet in Arusha. I spent about 3 hours getting across town and then back. This is just a little African city! Holy cow, Mother!

And I wandered into Tammy's house tonight for our team dinner, fully aware that I was too tired to be much company. I hate it when I can hear how incoherent I am being.

But now I think I can safely say that the day is done and it's time to sleep. There is a little girl sleeping next to me in her Daddy's spot. She says the pillow smells nicely of him.

Yes, I am tired, tired, tired. But I am happy, content, and peaceful.

The rain has begun on my roof again and I'm settling in for a good sleep. The full fat kind :-)

2 comments:

Sue said...

sweet lisa, tears had been holding back until I read your blog. How can I keep back what stirs in my heart that isn't even able to be put into words yet. Nothing really specific,...just so much that is taken in and not fully digested into any sort of sense. god is calling isn't He? I love how he tugs at what is important and waits for us to grab a hold of a minute to think, pray, shut out what is in the way of seeing him, hearing him, if only to focus on his incredible love for us.

I think of you and your restless night only to have a sweet Heather in bed replacing Byron for the time being.
Motherhood....an incredible gift
Hearts open to others...
arms with which to hold ours and others....
feelings that stir up the whispers of Jesus...
Longings to follow His lead...
and yet so many directions to go...
Lord, lend us the ears to hear...

You dear, Lisa friend, are in our prayers.

Carla said...

Hey Honey, I totally know what you mean. I do exactly the same thing when Steve's away. It's like I don't want to fall asleep without him so I stay up reading or on my MacBook til I can't keep my eyes open. I'll be praying for good sleep for you while Byron's away and I can't wait to see you next week! Lots of love from Carla and Steve xc