Monday, May 28, 2012

Ready. Set. Engaged!

Jesse and Annie became engaged on May 21st :-) We're so very happy with them!  This sweet turn of events has prompted a few of my friends to ask me how I'm doing and if I was ready for this important FIRST in our lives. I find myself wondering, "What's ready?"  Was I expecting it? Yes.  I mean, I've been expecting it for quite some time and I actually had to work on not expecting it! Every time I thought I had it figured out, I didn't.

But, ready... What would that look like?

Is the question prodding at if I was emotionally prepared to see Jesse take this step?  If so, I think I was.

Here's the thing with these major life phases: they don't usually come sneaking up to shock the living daylights out of you.  I mean, they might.  But that's not the norm.

Was I ready to be Jesse's mom on the day I discovered I was expecting him?  Well, probably not.  But I wanted him and I was ready to get ready, and I had about 9 months to actually become ready.  And was I completely ready to be his mom on the day he arrived?  Well, I think I was ready to be his mom THAT  day.  And that day prepared me for the next one.  I wasn't ready for him to walk that dear March morning, but I was given about a year to psych up for the eventuality.

And when he walked, was I ready for him to jump off cliffs into the clear Atlantic below?  No, I certainly was not.  Not any more than I was ready for him to scale the sides of mountains or bomb hills or head into the night to play a gig in the underground music scene of a European city, or leave home for college.

But those things came in time.  Good time.   I watched him take increasingly steady steps and my confidence in his way-making grew with him, slowly enough, but continuously.  Jesse showed me that he knew how to walk, and how to choose a path.  He walked well. When we were very young, we'd hike out and Byron would tell me to trust my feet.  In the same way, I've trusted Jesse's feet.  I guess I've trusted his feet because I've trusted his heart.

So, Jesse takes this next step.  He starts down this new path.  Am I ready?  With every ounce of me, yes.  Yes, because he walks well, and because he's gained the most wonderful person to journey with from here on out.

5 comments:

Katie said...

yippppeee. the best.

Carolyn said...

Wonderful! I'm so happy for you!

Lisa said...

Very well said Lisa! We are happy with them and you all!

Elizabeth de Smaele said...

A beautiful reflection on a beautiful movement in your lives. Congratulations!!

pearl said...

That will be one unforgettable wedding celebration<3