Girl Beautiful (or Wondering How to Raise a Healthy Woman)

Heather is still very small and there's so much I haven't learned yet...

I wonder about how to raise my daughter to know what beauty is and what beauty isn't. I wonder about how to raise her to feel good about her body and to know that her sexuality is a sweet and good gift. I wonder how to help her know to protect it, savor it, love it and be responsible with it.

I had lunch with my lovely friend Deb Hirsch last week. We did a lot of laughing and had a lot of good conversation. We did moan and groan a lot about Hollywood ideas of beauty. Botox, face lifts, boob jobs, AAAGHHH!

So many lies to untangle about what beauty is and does. They come loudly from the secular world with power and a venom that kills. They come more slyly from the church, yet with equal destruction.

I have significant amounts of fear and trepidation about raising a little girl through her teen years. A very dear friend, (who will go nameless to protect the privacy of her pubescent daughter) told me that sometimes "I swear I can see the hormones coursing brilliant and hot through her skinny body."

Now beside the fact that this is the finest string of words I have read in recent days, the truth of her observation cuts into my consciousness. This is no small task ahead of us. We head into the years before us with only the promise that there is a guide on even the most storm-swept of trails. Maybe if we hold his hand very tightly we will manage to feel our way forward and find the way.

Oh little Miss H! May you be blessed with wholeness and joy.

Girl Beautful, be well, be full, be free!

Heather's Perfect Self

Heather is 7 and she’s perfect. Her tummy still rounds out into a beautiful ball, rising in a smooth curve above the top of her jeans. My tummy, on the other hand, hangs rather alarmingly over the top of my jeans. Would that I could sport a big, round tummy as charmingly as she does.

Last weekend we spent a morning on the sand while her brothers surfed Sao Pedro. I drank coffee with Carey in the cafe, enjoying the view of our kids as they enjoyed a Saturday morning session. Heather chased the waves up and down the beach with Christian.

Later on, as I made tea in the kitchen at home, Heather was still running around in her swimsuit. Pulling it up so that most of her squidgy cheeks hung out below, she asked,

“Why do some girls wear their suits like this?”

“I don’t know,” I sort of sighed, “it doesn’t look very comfortable does it?”

“It’s like they’re walking around saying, ‘Look at MY butt! Look at MY butt! It’s SO great!”

I turned toward the stove to hide my laugh.

“THAT,” I thought, “is EXACTLY what they are saying!”

Several years ago, when Heather was about three, she was running around the house with not much on. I directed her father’s attention toward the dimply little bum.

“Proof positive,” I said. “That is the female body in pristine form and there is cellulite on those cheeks. The female bottom is SUPPOSED to have cellulite!” I exclaimed.

I’m not sure he was entirely convinced….but I was.

I can’t claim to be the proud occupant of a pristine body, but I wear my dimples with pride.

Thanks, Heather :-)