Good Gifts

Being in England with the 24-7 team was a good gift to me.
Sure, it felt kind of odd to turn up in London just three weeks after landing in Tanzania but I adjusted :-)

Walking along the High Street in Guilford I thought about how the shops are going to be a problem after I've been in Africa longer. Yea, the lovely displays of attractive things will be causing me to stumble when I return after a much longer stay in TZ. There are book and stationary stores, a Lush, a Body Shop, a Marks and Spencers, a nice kitchen shop etc etc. And I don't even like shopping!

The real gift of the time, though, was just being with Pete Greig, Carla Harding, Billy Kennedy, Brian Heasley, Andy Freeman, Jon Peterson and Ian Nicholson.

Then there was the cute little hat that Brian Heasley bought for Heather. We were poking around in the charity shops (thrift stores) with Billy at a lunch break and he found this cute hat and had to buy it. Heather loves it :-)

When I arrived home I found that Jesse (who was just in Portugal) had brought me olive oil from Barbara. I have a jar of oil pressed from olives harvested at the peaceful plot of the Shanti Pilgrim ! I think it's cool and wildly prophetic to have olive oil from there as we pursue community and look to settle a piece of land together here.

Well, the hurdles and hassles of moving, shipping and settling linger on but that's normal. Last night our family gathered to pray and Byron listed a bunch of the stressors before the Lord. "We don't know what to do about these but we do know this," he said. "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so."

We sat and sang that over and over for a little while. Ups and downs, stressors and times of joy... In it all there is that Jesus love. Now there's a good gift.

Happy Birthday Baba

Oh it's Baba's birthday on November first!

This is a really recent photo and Barbara sent it because she knew Heather would get a big kick out of seeing her in pink. Heather has teased her FOREVER about why she never wears this color.

Barbara Leite , wonder girl, we love you!

Happy Birthday!!

Feelings Unplugged

I'm finding myself a little reticent to write posts these days. A landslide has begun here.

I cling to Barbara on the curb by the train station as she begins her three month sojourn. I have no idea when I will ever see her again. When she gets back to Portugal, I will be in the States. From there, I will head to Tanzania.

The lump in my throat feels like a grapefruit. The tears are hot on my face.

I told Barbara on the night before that I don't know anyone in whom Jesus seems to reside so comfortably. He seems so at home in B. She is so hospitable to him. But just like in Narnia ("Once a king or queen in Narnia, always a king or queen in Narnia) I figure "Once a Borden, always a Borden." Baba has become a permanent member of our family.

Still I have no idea when I will see her again.

I pull away and pick up Heather, who is sobbing beside me. We climb into the car and sit there, waving until she disappears into the cavernous station.

The landslide of emotions has begun as goodbyes gain momentum. I want to put up barriers around my heart to keep it from being crushed under the weight of what is passing over it.

But my little fences would be foolish.

I question God. "Aren't we supposed to love deeply? Then why do you ask us to part? What's wrong with you?"

I am sometimes called upon to teach on coping with this life of following God all over the world. I always speak about the difficult but better choice to live with open hearts and to love the people God brings into our lives, rather than to protect ourselves from the cycle of separation and loss by keeping folks at a distance.

"And love is not the easy thing/the only baggage you can bring is all that you can't leave behind."

I can't leave Baba behind. And so I won't. Yes, we physically part. But our fragile human hearts are permanently intertwined.

Still, it feels like someone just tore out a great chunk of mine.

Strength for the journey. That's what I need.