I Talk

One thing I've figured out from all this time alone while the rest of the family is out hosting volunteers in "the bush" is that I talk to myself. A lot.

I mean, I knew that I occasionally commented out loud when no one was around, but having this much time in solitude has caused me to realize that I do it more than just a little.

Now, I'm not totally by myself since Josephine and Eva are in the kitchen 5 days a week working on the dry fruit project. But I am at my desk in my bedroom most of that time being a very disciplined little lady. They head home around 4p.m.

I wonder, does this go back to being a mom to babies? I mean, I always talked to my babies even when they couldn't possibly respond. All mamas do that. And once that first baby came along 22 years ago, I've never really been alone again since. I've pretty much been in a group with family and we've all been talking constantly for over 2 decades now!

So maybe it's just normal to keep on talking even when they are all away. It's pretty engrained in me now to speak out loud, don't you think?

And I don't just talk to myself. I talk to the dogs and to the goldfish as well.

Does that make me sound a little more balanced? (I'm kinda doubting it.)

I did it (I signed)

So I've had this book contract sitting in the bedroom for a month.

Well, to be honest, I haven't been around much this last month. We've been just all over the place, running from appointment to appointment to speaking gig to speaking gig.

And to be honest, I kept forgetting that there was this contract to sign.

Who does that? What writer forgets that a publisher wants her to write?

Good grief.

(Tony, if you read this, I won't actually forget to write the book!)

But beside the fact that I've been running around like a maniac and have also incurred some kind of short term memory loss for important things, I have to admit that I've been a little freaked out about this whole thing.

Why? I have to ask myself why. I guess I'm scared I'll fail or disappoint or sound like an idiot.

But today we came home from a team reunion with our lovely Russells and I was sitting quietly in the garden with Byron and my folks when I remembered. We had a pot of tea and a happy vibe of homeyness.

"You guys stay here," I said as I ran for the back door.

I grabbed the 2 copies of the contract and ran back outside with them.

"Look, it's a historical moment! I'm signing this book contract."

Byron made me wait till he got a camera.

There you have it. A book of essays on prayer coming up soon.

AGH!

Post #323 (In Which I Rush Outside to See the Sun)

It's weird that I've rushed out of doors to greet the sun (since I live in Africa and all) but we've not had much of the beloved presence in the last couple of months.

(My apologies to those who live in places like Seattle and the UK where this run of clouds and rain would not warrant whining.)

The sun is here today and I hope it will last or at least make frequent appearances between showers. The rainy season usually sprinkles out by the end of May and I'm just politely encouraging it to move along now. "Get along, little dawgie."

Trevor has jumped on a shuttle for Nairobi so that he can meet Darrelle's plane at 6:30am tomorrow and escort her over the bumpy roads and through the (some times bewildering) border crossing.

Jesse should be on a shuttle from Nairobi this very minute. Their shuttles will pass on the way somewhere. I wish they would both be at the same rest stop at the same time. Wouldn't that be crazy? Hugging brothers at a tourist stop, destined to be pulled apart again quickly as they continue their journeys in opposite directions. It would be tragic except that will meet up at our place by Thursday afternoon.

Byron and Tammy are doing a day seminar with the Artisan ladies. They have some issues to work out with the new line of products our fair trade project is working on. There were some funny boo boos in the first batch of the new designs. Last year we introduced angels with cone shaped dresses. This year, we're using a similar cone shape but making Christmas trees. We had some trees come in, topped with stars as they should be, but with angel arms attached. Ha! I guess it's hard to imagine an angel or a Christmas tree if you have not grown up with many, many images of these things firmly planted in your mind.

Colin is trying his best to understand how to diagram sentences and I've just spent 20 minutes watching the lesson with him. I don't understand it ONE bit. I think diagraming sentences is a foolish waste of time. (Dana, I hope you can tell me I'm right about this.)

Heather is laid up on the sofa with a fever and sore throat. The Russell twins are doing home school with Val the Valiant Visitor at our dining room table.

And me? I am avoiding the grocery shopping and the general clean up, the emails I haven't answered and the deadlines I have for a couple of little writing things as I linger in the warmth of this good sunshine.

Enough pleasuring. Back to work now...

(PS I posted today on my Conversant Life blog about my response to the news from China.)

I Don't Like It When the Internet is Down

On Monday at about 2pm my internet connection faded and then vanished.

At first I didn't want to believe it. I kept myself in a state of denial, telling myself it was just being extra sluggish and ridiculous. I didn't want to call the server because, oh, I don't know why. Maybe it was because making the call would force me to admit that the connection really was cut, (as in dead, lifeless, of no use, severed.)

Last time this happened I called them over and over. "I can see the problem," I told them. "The cable is dangling like a free and crazy thing from the 5th pole away from my house! Just come and FIX it!"

But they didn't come until almost 3 days later. (By then I had developed a slight twitch and a nervous little laugh.)

I NEED this connection! I need to know that an email from Trevor might just drop into my inbox at any time (you know how college kids are up at all hours) or that word from Jesse, away-off-yonder, might suddenly show up. I WANT a cheery note from Nelly and news from my sister, for crying out loud. I HAVE to hear back from Brady, my travel guy, so that I can stop being stressed about the tickets I'm trying to get booked for a whole buncha people. I MUST give answers to a lot of PRESSING questions from IMPORTANT people and, what's more, I FEEL BETTER about myself when I have a clue about what's happening in other parts of the world so for heaven's sake DON'T cut me off from the BBC!

Oh my! Now the connection has been repaired after a 24 hour disruption.

And I'm just left wondering this... How did I manage so nicely for those 10 years in Loita without being wired??

:-)

Confession

I have 1,059 mails in my inbox.
That's just wrong.
I know there are important mails that are buried and still not answered.
I'm going to have to do this better.

I will start by making some popcorn and contemplating my ways.

You've Got Mail

You may recall that Jesse (not Jesus, Rebecca!) accused me of having issues because my inbox had over 1,500 mails in it.

Well, I worked really hard over the Christmas break and got that down to less than 50. I opened new files for mails that I need to keep like "24-7prayer" and "Supporting Churches." I also opened files for friends who I just happen to like their mails a lot. That's how you know if I love your mails, if I can't delete them. Pathetic, I know. (Most of my close emailers already had files named for them, "Nelly" "Tanya" etc.) And I hit the delete button a zillion times.

But I am slipping. It's only 23 January and I'm already back up to 241 mails in the inbox.

Darn!

I'll try to be better, Jesse. I promise!

Apparently I Have Issues

I have 868 mails in my in-box. I need to sit at the dining room table for a long time and go through them and empty that sucker out.

Jesse said I should just go through them fast and delete many at a time. I didn't know how to do that but he showed me and it was pretty neato. So then he said I should start at the bottom of the box and move up, making great swipes through the box and clearing happy swathes upward and onward to the utopia of an empty in-box.

But I said I can't do that yet cuz some of those mails have to be saved. He said, "So move them to where you save them." I said, "Well, I don't know where I want to save some of them yet." (I have files for lots of things but not for all things.) He said, "You have issues."

But then he said I don't really (have issues). He said he understood cuz he has a hundred or so in his box too. I said "100! I have almost 900!"

He said, "Oh my gosh, I take it back! YOU DO HAVE ISSUES!"

It's good to have an 19 and a half year old son around to let you know you have problems.