Thoughts for Advent: Day Twenty-Four

A Poem for Day Twenty-Four

I cannot do this

I cannot find words

to capture or convey

Language fails 

and I fall silent

In the silence

Adoration

God incarnate

moved toward me

Be still

with me

And watch

The Light

-lisa, 24 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Twenty-Three

A Poem for Day Twenty-Three

There have been moments
I was sure
the earth paused
on her axis

Moments
indelible and
eternally bright

Four times I have held
the newest life

Four times I have
peered into a face
I had never seen
but loved instantly
more intensely
than my breaking heart
could bear


And in those minutes
that never never come again
I was won

Charmed completely
I was intrigued by one question

Who are you?

Yes, I know your origin
and who you are to me
but

Who are you?

On a scale beyond anything
She must have asked the same

This Advent
I turn toward
a face I cannot see
but know I love

My desire is
to be undone

Who are you?

-lisa, 23 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Twenty-Two

A Poem for Day Twenty-Two

The days wear on

Grinding poverty

and violence beyond comprehension

have brought a darkness

we cannot shift

The pain of ages

accumulates

and we are broken

It is time now

it is time

The hot pain

wrapped and wracking

threatens to overwhelm

But you are not far away

Redemption is a plot unfolding

A mystery

a promise

a baby

-lisa, 22 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day 21

A Poem for Day Twenty-One

The giving of gifts
is a lovely thing

An artful practice
and kind custom
of affection

The well-chosen token
pleases the giver
and (of course) the one
who receives

But let's be honest

There are times
we find ourselves
at a loss

Out of time
Short on ideas
(not to mention
cash)

We follow through
but feel a bit
feeble about
our attempt

It is a rare joy
to choose a gift
so well
we simply cannot wait
to give it

And in this vein
I think of you

The perfect knowing
of our need

The time and thought
in preparation

This gift
It cost you

Yet severity
of toll
did not
dissuade

You
Spectacular munificence
on display

Reveled in
the gift
you gave

-lisa, 21 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Twenty

A Poem for Day Twenty

As children
our elation
was epic

Barely able to contain
the hyper happy
we danced for days

And it was all
about us
you know

Most definitely all
about us

We matured somewhat
Pondered deeper things
and learned to long

Beginning to sense
our brokenness
we turned toward you

And it was still
somehow
all about us

Not surprising, really
All about us

Now Advent teaches us
to yearn for you

And, honestly,
it's right we do

But quietly
it occurs to me

That every day
you long
for me

-lisa, 20 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Nineteen

A Poem for Day Nineteen

My favorite nights
are under stars

Bare headed
to their light
Warmth of fire
at our feet

We tell
stories

Our stories

Old stories
New stories
Stories that make us laugh
until we cry

Or cry
until we laugh

Stories of wonder
pain and process

Stories of failure
fame and
faith

We tell the stories
yes

But the stories also
tell us

We know ourselves
through them
A growing clarity
on who we are

This season speaks
the most gorgeous tale

And yet I manage
to mostly
miss it

Hush now
Hush

Magic Story
true and unbelievable at once
Teach me

I quiet down
and choose
to listen

-lisa, 19 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Eighteen

A Poem for Day Eighteen

It's not what they expected
Nothing at all like their dreams

The implausible plot
lacked pizzazz

Her principle characters
obscure, unknown

And anyway
it was boring

For all the world
a sure-fire flop

Do you know how many babies
are born in less than lovely circumstances?

(Too many)

No one would see
this was rescue


This morning
the very plainness
gives me pause

The common elements
stop me short

You are at work

Even now
Today

You are moving
dearly toward me

in humble ways
I overlook

-lisa, 18 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Seventeen

A Poem for Day Seventeen

I'll tell you what
it's really hard

This cozy concept
of dear devotion

(easily attained
in quiet dawn)

Evaporates
with the most surprising
swiftness


One foray into shopping
one attempt to get 'er done

And I am rendered
a grumpy mess

Easily tried
and short on grace

I close inward
to self protect

And you are not
appalled
or even
disappointed

You grin a little
and lift my chin

Did I think poetry
would perfect me?

A traveler
who is simply aided
by the sound and shape
of words

I stumble toward you

-lisa, 17 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Sixteen

A Poem for Day Sixteen

Somewhere in the silence
I sense a shifting

In this weighty darkness
a low and lambent light

The biting blackout
begins to loosen

Joy is coming
Joy is coming
JOY is coming

Prepare with me
to welcome

Light


-lisa, 16 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Fifteen

A Poem for Day Fifteen

There is a time
in that long last hour
we begin to believe
it will always
be night

In the spreading pool of dark
there is a silence
so profound
it carries
weight

And cold?
It fills us

Immobilized by
this invading
lack of
light

We are numb

Speak to the night
my heart

Speak to the night
a word of hope

This bitter blackness
This copious and
convincing cold

Cannot
Will not
Shall not
last

Hold on
to this

Salvation
comes

-lisa, 15 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Fourteen

A Poem for Day Fourteen

Is it dark enough
I wonder

Have we drifted
sufficiently
to understand
at last
how thoroughly
we are
lost

And not just lost
but getting more so
Tied to a course
that leads us
nowhere

Each day
I think
It can't possibly 
get worse

And then...
it does

At what point
will we feel
our need

and learn to long
for liberation

-lisa, 14 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Thirteen

A Poem for Day Thirteen

Home is a feeling

that can elude me

I wake in this house I love

Love her people

her spacious grace

Only to find myself

missing somewhere else

And when I'm there

I miss here

The practice of thanks

brings me back

Settles me kindly 

where I am

And I am grateful

Not only for 

places of shelter

But for the longing

in between

Surely you

who weave all together

for certain good

Surely you

are speaking 

this quiet 

wondering morning

This is truly why you came

That I might find

my home

is you

-lisa, 13 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Twelve

A Poem for Day Twelve

It's not that I don't want to know

It's just that I fear the ache

The gut kick of reality

that comes with knowledge

Life plays out

like a Eugene O'Neill

churning my stomach

with the pain

So, I skim and scan 

Not reading

for understanding

I browse the world 

Trepidation

keeps my heart 

invested to the degree

I deem manageable

Fear, it seems 

offers a safety rail

Shields me from

the unmet longing

O, long away,

little heart

Wake this morning

to a pain-filled world

and long away

Do not fear

an endless night

This is Advent

There comes a light

-lisa, 12 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Eleven

A Poem for Day Eleven

There was a night
as I carried Heather
we had to flee

Friends at our door said
Come
Hide in our village

Bandits were close
Our house
the only nearby attraction

Husband was hours away
and I was there with
three little boys

We gathered and locked up
Hushed and hurried
a heavy mama with her brood

Light fell as we
followed the trail
away from home

Two clear memories
remain

We were safe
Loved and
looked out for

Also, at seven months along
I ached significantly
on that cow skin bed

Fifteen years on
I wake to
new-felt thanks

With one tough night
sheltered in that meager mud home
little goats stirring by my head

Perhaps
(in the smallest
way)

I hold a memory
that helps me
enter the story

-lisa, 11 December, 2013

Thoughts For Advent: Day Ten

A Poem for Day Ten

When we were small
the very word
"Christmas"
made us a little faint

There was nothing better than
a present
except, of course,
a mountain of them

And all on display
under this champion of
seasonal decorations
A fragrant tree, bedecked and shining

Christmas trumped all
Birthdays, Easter,
pool parties in the summer
Nothing came close

That it was about you
was a given a solemn nod
We loved that Baby Jesus meant
this kind of loot

Oh, we loved Baby Jesus too
But he did get a little lost
in all the wrapping

It was a hard reality
when Christmas
ceased to make us
ridiculously giddy

That first year
of lessened high
we felt sadly grown
and grieved our loss

But we settled in
Christmas was still lovely
in this newly adult
reality

Now with the vantage
of fifty years
I'm revisiting
that early wonder

Wish me well,
friends on the way
Here's to the journey
into joy

-lisa, 10 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Nine

A Poem for Day Nine

This is a risky business
this rising early
to Advent with you

What if I creep out of bed
light the candle
and don't find you

What then?

Even as I write these words
I feel a giggle start to roll

You who rended heaven
to send a precariously helpless babe

Allowed that one to be raised
in this deeply broken place

Let him grow to his full manhood
only to watch him meet the bitterest of bitter ends

All this

All this that we might begin to know you
To bridge the chasm that we might connect

The fear that I could turn toward you
only to be stood up
strikes me this breaking morning
as laughable

Thank you for the soft reminder
that, yes, one of us is prone to ditch the other
And that someone
isn't you

-lisa, 9 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Eight

A Poem for Day Eight

It's amazes me how the smallest offense
can lodge like a splinter
in my heart

A bit of pique and huff appear
the outward signs of my
displeasure

And in my little righteous mood
I turn my stubborn thoughts
to you

How awful if, like me
you wasted time
on indignation

You, the real owner
of every right
chose not to claim even one

Today's Advent lesson
seems to be
You moved first
pursuing me

-lisa, 8 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Seven

A Poem for Day Seven

We moved recently

Packed our bags and drove out of town

Sounds very neat

when put that way

A tidy task of transportation

In reality

We struggled hard

to shift our stuff

Mountains of belongings

a landslide of accouterments

an explosion of paraphernalia

Even after paring down

It's embarrassing

(How is it possible

we need this junk?)

This is a symptom of

an overweight heart

As days of Advent accelerate

the pull to purchase 

powers up

Slim down

Perhaps this Christmas

we can learn from you

and give each other

the gift of presence

-lisa, 7 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Five

A Poem for Day 5

Less than perfect
I think we could safely call that
The Nice Way
of describing my heart

Less than perfect
How about doubting, fumbling
with a dash of
phenomenally bad choices

Well, of course, I try
but, truth is

Often times faith
(as expressed by me)
doesn't look much
like it

Yet here's the thing
the stop in your tracks
steal your breath
shocking (scandalous, really) thing

Grace has eyes
for me
She smiles
and I am new

Now, like the
Fledgling Favored One,
I, too, (mysteriously)
carry a Savior

-lisa, 5 December, 2013

Thoughts for Advent: Day Four

A Poem for Day Four

It's 2am and
I'm awake
I know there's jet lag
but this is different

Jaw clenched
List rolling
My thoughts pick tightly at details
that rouse me

I am not more stressed
than you
This wakeful watch
is not a badge
(No points scored for busy)

We are all, I think,
pressed
Disquieted and
ill at ease in the rush
of Western life

To turn my thoughts
toward a manger
is, pardon the cliche,
easier said than done

Lay down the lineup
the catalog of particulars
that need (or so they claim)
my (incredibly important) attention

To pause
and consider
is to breathe
and remember

I am created
to long
for You

-lisa, 4 December, 2013